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Donut

@Donut

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Joined seven months ago

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Tell us how to get into piracy!

in Elite Dangerous

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How to get into Piracy. Great question.

First, there will be a few things you need.

  1. 1. A hat.

How are you supposed to let people know how cool you are without a hat? And the bigger the feather the better. Now, if you can steal your hat from the freshly dead corpse of your enemy, all the better, but if you can't do that, just get one on Amazon and lie. (Because you are a pirate.) A good pirate hat shows that you're one of the brave, bold few with a lack of regard of the law, rules and basic common sense that makes you... a Pirate!

  1. A ship.

    (Author's note: Your ship will look NOTHING like this.)

Pirate's ship says as much about him as his Hat (See above). ANY ship can be a pirate ship, don't let anyone tell you different. It's not about the size or the shape of the ship, it's about what's in her cmdr's heart. And if that heart is filled with the ability and willingness to blow some noob to kingdom come just for 3 units of Biowaste, Well, then that is a pirate ship.

  1. A lack of funds. (I.E. you're broke.)

We've all been there. Work dries up, investments go bad, Ex-wife's lawyer finds where you've been hiding. There are a plethora of reasons as to why we find ourselves financially embarrassed. But it takes a special soul who says, "I'm gonna fix my problems by making somebody else poor." If that sounds like something you'd say to your self in the mirror of the local Sheetz you've been showing in since Grandma kicked you out of her house, Then you are well on your way to be coming a Pirate. Which brings us to the last thing you will need to be a True pirate in the world of Elite:Dangerous.

  1. A complete lack of common sense.

    Now, the most important thing to understand about Piracy in Elite:Dangerous is this: You can literally do ANYTHING and make more money than you will in Piracy. For the Love of the Thargod, DON'T DO IT! Between the fines and repairs you make no profits AND all the stuff you steal sells for less than just normal goods! It's just not worth it.

    The only 2 Kinds of people who get into Piracy are kind with more money than sense and Sociopaths. And if you are either of those kind of people... Carry on, I guess. More power to you, you crazy buggers.

    As for every one else: PIRACY, not even once.

    Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

    Donut, out.