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A No Man's Sky Christmas Carol

Knock knock knock

Scroogek winced as he heard yet another knock at his door. "Who is it?", he called out. A garbled electronic voice responded from the other side of the door.

Grumbling, Scroogek pushed back from his desk and groaned as his aching joints cracked, before he waddled across the room to his office door.

Opening the door, he stepped backwards and looked up to see two tall Korvax entities looming over him. Upon seeing their plain unadorned metallic shells and scenting old unchanged oil, Scroogek clacked his beak in displeasure. They appeared to be poorly maintained and therefore too poor to do business with him.

"What do you want?", he growled. The blue-shelled entity responded with a staticky electronic voice, "Apologies for our intrusion sir. My name is Acer and this is my colleague Dell. We represent the Caring Collective Charity."

"You better not be here to ask for money!", interrupted Scroogek.

Dell stepped forward with clasped hands. "Please hear us out Mr Scroogek. We only seek a small donation to help underprivileged young entities that dwell in the collective. With a thousand units we can build a new shell giving them a chance to experience an individual existence in their own body..."

Scroogek had stopped paying attention, turning around to re-enter his office and slamming the door behind him.

"What odorous beings!", he muttered to himself. He pulled out a small pheromone bottle from his pocket. Bringing it to his nose, he unstoppered the lid and took a deep whiff. Closing his eyes he rode a wave of blissful relaxation, leaning against his door.

A moment later the door to his secretary's office opened and Cratchit entered with a yawn.

Guiltily, Scroogek quickly stoppered his pheromone bottle and put it in his pocket.

"Good evening Merchant Scroogek", said Cratchit with a tired smile on his beak.

"Yes, yes, good evening to you as well Cratchit. Did you finish those ledgers I asked of you?".

"All done sir."

"Very good. Well I suppose you can call it a day. How about you head home to your family and I'll see you back here tomorrow morning."

Scroogek returned to his desk and busied himself by checking his datapad. Cratchit cleared his throat and Scroogek looked up with a confused look.

"Is there a problem Cratchit? You normally rush home as soon as I allow it."

"Ah sir, well there was something else", said Cratchit as he twisted his claws together.

"Spit it out Cratchit. You know how I detest wasting time. Time is money after all!" grumped Scroogek.

"It's Christmas tomorrow sir!"

"So?"

"Well it's a bit of a holiday, and I was hoping to take the day off and spend time with my family."

"Bah! Christmas! A profitless tradition for those who observe it. Expensive sentimentality. A waste of time and money I say!"

Looking up, Scroogek observed that Cratchit was looking down. Relenting he continued is a softer tone.

"Though I suppose you have been working hard, and for the sake of morale I'll allow you the day off."

"Thank you, thank you sir! This is very good news. I was planning to take my family for a day trip to the surface. It can get awfully stuffy in this space station!"

"Yes, yes Cratchit, I'm sure it will be wonderful. Begone now, I have business to attend to."

"Yes sir, before I go, I was wondering if you would like to join us for Christmas dinner tomorrow? You've never met my youngest Gekling, Tiny Tim."

"Thank you for the offer, but you know I can't stand all this Christmas business. I'll be more than happy on my own." Getting up Scroogek ushered Cratchit to the door. "Please go now, enjoy your festivities."

Waving him out, Scroogek locked the door and let out a long sigh.

"Christmas!", he scoffed.

Returning to his desk, Scroogek fingered the pheromone bottle in his pocket, before taking it out for another deep whiff.

With a satisfied clack of his beak, Scroogek found himself relaxing with his thoughts drifting back to younger days enjoying the pheromones wafting from the spawning pools of Guzlan IV...

Drifting off to sleep in his chair Scroogek napped until woken by a chill. Blinking his eyes, Scroogek noted that the lights had dimmed for the sleep cycle. Squinting he noticed a blue glow coming from beneath the door in Cratchit's office.

"He left his blasted datapad on" muttered Scroogek as he got up to investigate.

Entering the room he gasped in shock. The pheromone bottle that was still in his hand slipped and shattered on the pure ferrite flooring. Standing before him was a ghost. A Gek he recognized immediately as his long-dead business partner. Marley.

FirestormGamingTeam's avatar

And here is my submission, this is in true Eve Online style and is not, for the faint of heart...

https://youtu.be/FE0AP-Fhn4A

FirestormGamingTeam's avatar

No one replied or liked it so I'm going to guess i went to dark with it, my bad :P

Alex Sinclair's avatar

I just listened to it. I think it's epic. Great writing and - considering the subject matter - a very worthwhile, wholesome message at the end too!

FirestormGamingTeam's avatar

Oh thank god, I thought I went way to dark with it and disgusted people xD

Alex Sinclair's avatar

Nope, you're all good 😁 And hey, the original was pretty dark too!

Max Grauer's avatar

Since Cuphead is one of my favorite games, heres my rendition of a christmas carol story.

Once upon a time in the whimsical world of Inkwell Isle, as snowflakes danced through the frosty air and the scent of gingerbread filled the streets, Cuphead and his brother Mugman were feeling particularly merry. The holiday season had arrived, and the entire island was aglow with festive lights and decorations.

Cuphead, ever the adventurous one, suggested, "Mugman, let's throw the grandest Christmas party Inkwell Isle has ever seen! We can invite everyone, even the bosses we've battled!"

Mugman, a bit more cautious but equally excited about the idea, agreed. "That sounds wonderful, Cuphead! But let's make sure it's a party that brings everyone together in the spirit of the season."

The brothers set out to deliver handcrafted invitations to all the residents of Inkwell Isle, including the fearsome bosses they had once fought due to the devilish deal. They trudged through the snow, from the frosted fields of the Root Pack's farm to the icy shores where Captain Brineybeard docked his ship.

As they handed out invitations, they were met with skepticism. "A party? With you two?" grumbled Goopy Le Grande, still a bit sore from his defeat. "I suppose I could give it a shot."

One by one, the bosses began to warm up to the idea, intrigued by the brothers' genuine intentions to spread cheer and goodwill. Even King Dice, the cunning casino manager, tipped his hat and said, "Well, I never turn down a good party. Count me in, boys."

The day of the party arrived, and Cuphead and Mugman had transformed the local tavern into a winter wonderland. A massive tree stood in the center, adorned with sparkling ornaments and a bright star on top. Tables were laden with treats: frosted cookies, candy canes, and warm mugs of hot cocoa.

Guests began to arrive, each bringing their unique flair to the celebration. Hilda Berg floated in, her dress shimmering like the night sky, while Cagney Carnation surprised everyone by using his petals to mistletoe over the doorways.

As the night went on, the spirit of Christmas worked its magic. Old grudges melted away like snow in the sun. The once-feared bosses laughed and danced with the residents of Inkwell Isle, sharing stories and songs. Cuphead and Mugman beamed with joy, their hearts full as they saw their dream of unity come to life.

Just when it seemed the night couldn't get any more magical, a hush fell over the crowd as the Devil himself stepped into the tavern. A wave of tension swept through the room, but Cuphead stepped forward with a smile.

"Even you, sir, are welcome tonight. It's Christmas, a time for forgiveness and fresh starts," Cuphead said, extending a hand.

The Devil, taken aback by the gesture, looked around at the merry faces, the laughter, and the genuine happiness. Something stirred within him, a feeling he hadn't known for eons. With a nod, he accepted Cuphead's handshake, and the party erupted into cheers.

The night continued with newfound camaraderie, and as the first light of dawn crept over the horizon, everyone agreed it had been the best Christmas Inkwell Isle had ever seen. Cuphead and Mugman, exhausted but elated, watched as their friends departed with smiles and waves.

"See, Mugman? Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year," Cuphead said, his eyes twinkling like the star atop the tree.

Mugman nodded, his heart full. "And the best part is, we made new friends out of old foes. That's the true spirit of Christmas."

And so, with hearts aglow and the bonds of friendship stronger than ever, Cuphead and Mugman looked forward to many more adventures, knowing that the magic of Christmas had changed Inkwell Isle for the better.

KAZO+AR's avatar

Since we get along on the subject Boomerlet's do it.

(I invite you to read me with the Galadriel's voice from LOTR)

In the vast ether of festive times, where the flames of joy flicker dimly, and frost-laden winds weave their icy tales, stretches a realm engulfed in eternal twilight. Welcome, Undying Wanderer, to the accursed domain of Everfrost, where once-celebratory Christmas Carols now reveal spectral shadows roaming deserted alleys.

Once, this land echoed with joyous melodies and laughter from festive souls. However, a malevolent force, born of forgotten carols and forsaken merriment, cast its shadow upon the land. The Crystalline Choir, once a harmonious assembly of Christmas carolers, delved too deeply into the forbidden verses of an ancient song, awakening a chorus of dark spirits that now haunt the realm.

The very essence of Christmas cheer wanes, and behold, the Undying Wanderer emerges, an ashen figure clad in tattered festive garb. Armed with a spectral lantern and a dirge of carols, the Wanderer navigates the twisted alleys and abandoned halls of Everfrost. Facing the remnants of once-jolly spirits turned hollow, the Undying Wanderer must confront the Maestro of Shadows, the conductor of the cursed symphony ensnaring the realm.

Prepare to sing a dirge of redemption, for the fate of Everfrost and the spirit of Christmas itself rests in your hands. In this desolate land, where every jingle bell tolls with the weight of eternity, will you be the one to rekindle the festive flame and lift the curse that binds the Carols of Everfrost? Embark, Undying Wanderer, for the holiday spirit awaits its salvation in the heart of the festive abyss.

Sturmer's avatar

A Capsuleer's Christmas Carol


Chapter 1: The Space Miser

In the vast universe of New Eden, Scrooge-9000 was a notorious capsuleer, known for his immense wealth and ruthless efficiency. He owned a formidable alliance and controlled lucrative null space trade routes but was feared and loathed for his cold-hearted dealings. On the eve of the Yoiul Festival, Scrooge-9000 received a haunting transmission from his former fleet commander, Marley123 who had perished in a treacherous space battle years before. Marley's spectral image, flickering in Scrooge-9000's captain quarters, warned him of three visits he would receive that night.

Chapter 2: The Ghost of Yoiul Past

The first apparition, the Ghost of Yoiul Past, appeared as an ethereal frigate, guiding Scrooge-9000 through the stars to scenes of his early years in New Eden. They witnessed a young Scrooge-9000, full of ambition yet still connected to his fleetmates, sharing victories and the joys of lowsec exploration. The spirit showed him how his pursuit of ISK and power gradually eclipsed his sense of adventure, small victories and exploration.

Chapter 3: The Ghost of Yoiul Present

Next, the Ghost of Yoiul Present arrived, a shiny battleship adorned with bling fitting. This spirit revealed the current Yoiul Festival celebrations across New Eden. Scrooge-9000 saw his current corpmates, who respected but did not care for him, and lonely pilots helping each other in the spirit of the festival at the Nexus combat sites. The ghost also showed him the plight of new pilots struggling in the vast, often unforgiving universe, whom Scrooge-9000 had always ignored.

Chapter 4: The Ghost of Yoiul Yet to Come

The third spirit, the Ghost of Yoiul Yet to Come, was a dark, ominous Angel Cartel titan – the angel of death, Azrael. It showed Scrooge-9000 a future where his empire crumbled, his alliances broken due to his relentless greed and mistrust. Scrooge-9000 was left a forgotten relic, with no friends or allies to remember him, his legacy lost in the uncharted depths of space.

Chapter 5: Redemption Among the Stars

Shocked and deeply moved, Scrooge-9000 vowed to change his ways. He logged in on Yoiul Day with a rekindled spirit. He began assisting new pilots, sharing his wealth and knowledge, and re-establishing old friendships. Scrooge-9000 organized training academies, inviting pilots from across the galaxy. He became known as a generous and wise elder, remembered not for his wealth, but for his contribution to the community of New Eden.

MURRRAAAAY's avatar

A Christmas Carol… Super Mario Style

Once upon a warp pipe in the Mushroom Kingdom, there lived a grumpy Koopa named Koopenezer Scrooge! He was as tightfisted as a Boo guarding a secret, and his heart was colder than an ice flower!!

One snowy night, as Koopenezer Scrooge was about to stomp off to bed, he heard a familiar “It’s-a-me, ah Mario!” echoing in the castle… Suddenly, the ghostly figure of Marleyo, his former partner in Koopa Troopa trouble appeared, wrapped in chains made of broken Super Stars, sporting a spookily white coat and top hat!

“Koopenezer! You’ve been jumping on too many Goombas and not spreading enough holiday cheer. You’re on the fast track to a lonely game over!” warned Marleyo!

Throughout the night, three spectral plumbers visited Koopenezer. First was Pastio, a mustached spirit in blue overalls, who whisked Scroopa back to the days when he was a carefree Koopa playing Mario Kart with his friends! “Ahh the good old days of the past” Koopenezer thought!

Presentio, a jolly Toad with a Santa hat, revealed the joyous scenes of the Mushroom Kingdom celebrating the season! But the most touching sight was the humble home of the Cratchit Bros, Tiny Toadstool and his family, scraping together 1-Up Mushrooms for a festive feast! Nothing like the Present Power-up!

Lastly, the eerie figure of Yet-to-Koopa showed Koopenezer a future where his greed had left the Mushroom Kingdom in darkness. Bowser ruled with an iron fist, and Koopenezer castle lay in ruins. It’s like Koopenezer is looking into the future!

Frightened and transformed, Koopenezer awoke on Christmas morning with a heart as warm as Yoshi in a lava level!! He bounded into the snowy streets, spreading cheer and handing out power-ups to Toads and Goombas alike! Ho HO HO!

Koopenezer even joined the Cratchit Bros for a festive kart race, ensuring Tiny Toadstool a victory lap on Rainbow Road! From that day forward, Koopenezer Scrooge was the happiest Koopa in the Mushroom Kingdom, and his tale became a legendary power-up of holiday happieness & redemption. And they all lived happily ever after, warp-piping through winter wonderlands and stomping on Goombas with joyous abandon.

So with all that new wisdom that Koopenezer hastaken on board, and you now that you have read this true story straight from the mushroom kingdom, go forth and spread Christmas cheer loud for all to hear as fast as you can, just like when a blue shell is chasing you down in Mario Kart as we have NO itime to waste... afterall Christmas 2025 will be here before we know it, just like a green shell rebounding back at Mario when he lest expects it!

Wahoo!

The End.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! Murray.

FirestormGamingTeam's avatar

I am full-on smiling right now, thank you!

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