Hey Commander, this is beautiful, but I'm afraid it doesn't meet the rules of a limerick. Feel free to resubmit with this format:

Line a) 8-10 syllables, final syllable rhymes with lines b) and e).
Line b) 8-10 syllables, final syllable rhymes with lines a) and e)
Line c) 5-7 syllables, final syllable rhymes with line d)
Line d) 5-7 syllables, final syllable rhymes with line c)
Line e) 8-10 syllables, final syllable rhymes with lines a) and b)