🎂 MISABA – Birthday Titan Bash (Mildly Accurate Reporting)

December 15 was my birthday, so naturally I celebrated on Saturday, December 13 the only reasonable way possible in New Eden:
by feeding a Titan.

This was meant to be just a Titan bash - so, in true last-minute fashion, I made a series of objectively poor financial decisions and bought nearly every ship I could find on contract in MISABA.

🛒 What Was Purchased (regret included):

• 1 Titan

• 1 Hel

• 12 Rorquals

• 4–5 Carriers

• 3 FAXs

• 3 Dreads

• A handful of Apocalypses

🧠 Skill Choices (also questionable):

• ~110 Large Skill Injectors (to skill the Titan pilot and fly everything else I panic-bought)

💸 Total Cost:

• ~500 BILLION ISK (ships, injectors, skillbooks)

Bonus mistake:
I forgot to insure anything until after a few ships were already exploding.

👀 The Event

• Over 1,000 pilots showed up, many of whom had never seen a Titan on grid

• Over 2,000 ships destroyed during the event

• The Hel’s final blow was delivered by an Ibis (never change, New Eden)

📼 The Footage (how?):

When everything was over, the one clip I had of the Titan was corrupted and wouldn’t play.
Had to send it to the real wizards to recover it.

They pulled it off. 🙏

🎁 Birthday Math (thank you):

Someone asked my age: I said 33.
Local immediately decided I should receive 33 billion ISK for my birthday, with anything extra donated onward. Only 2 people donated.

Results:

• 1B ISK from one legend

• 33M ISK from another

• Combined with insurance payouts, my wallet landed at exactly 33B ISK

suspiciously felt like a script, but funny how it turned out to be exactly that!

(Titan insurance: 4.8B | Hel insurance: 900M)

Wardec the EVE bank for scamming me.

🔥 “Why did you do this?”

People keep asking why.

Because for the longest time, coalitions and alliances are stockpiling Titans and supers like Old Earth is about to invade tomorrow. Hangars get bigger every year… and somehow the willingness to undock gets smaller.

It’s a Titan.
It’s pixels.

For a lot of pilots, this was the first Titan they’d ever seen on grid, let alone one they could actually shoot and watch explode. People laughed. People spammed local. People walked away with a memory instead of another asset quietly collecting dust. That’s the part that matters.

And yes, be financially responsible. You should be.
But at some point, you also have to play the game.

A lot of people are sitting on tens or hundreds of trillions in wealth, flying ships they built “for the what-if moment”… and then refusing to undock them even when the what-if moment shows up.

You can be careful forever.
Or you can undock, lose something expensive, and remember why EVE exists in the first place.

🫡 Final Thoughts

I had an absolute blast, and I genuinely hope everyone else did too.
Thanks to everyone who showed up, shot ships, brought friends, or just came to watch chaos unfold.

Looking forward to hosting more events like this.

Additionally, a lot of people seemed to be upset that snuffed showed up with capitals. I did mention to bring caps in my post, and they also kept restraint by not flooding the grid - I had no issue with it and it was fair play and it elevated the content.

Thanks for reading my
mildly accurate reporting.

- Warlock Industries

Cinematic video of the destruction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ7Shd9gCc8

Titan KM: https://zkillboard.com/kill/131910512/
Hel KM: https://zkillboard.com/kill/131909425/
BR: https://br.evetools.org/br/694204e1439ce20012da8aae