A Hot Bargain - Written in the style of Rick Riordan.
When parents ask for help with errands, and say that it will only take “about 5 minutes”, you know it will be more than that. Ranging from an hour, to using up your whole day.
So when my Dad, Hermes, the messenger of the gods sent me on a quest to retrieve some lost items for him, I answered with the most polite “No” I could give him. In return, he gave me a look as if I cursed infront of my grandma.
“Excuse me, what do you mean no?!”
“Dad, can you really blame me for refusing?” I replied. “Everytime you ask me to help you there’s always a catch”.
The messenger of the gods pinched his nose in fustration. “Oh Gods and Titans, is this about what happened last month in Wales?”
I glared at my father and crossed my arms. It was definitely about what had happened in Wales.
“Son, you are the only one who is available to retrieve these items,” he said. “I promise to reward you if you complete this small quest, think of it as compensation for what happen last month”.
He drove a hard bargain.
“So where are these items?” I asked. Dad smiled. “Camden Market.”
It had taken me about 45 minutes by bus and train too reach the market, and I had been here for almost 30 minutes, so that was 1 hour and 15 minutes gone already. I wanted to get this quest over with as Dad wanted me to bring the items to him in Piccadilly Circus before sunset. As I was about to get distracted by the Bandai Namco Cross Store, I noticed two hooded figures heading down an allyway. I followed them to what appeared to be a hidden market stall, it was all black and had sign in bright red:
“HIDDEN TREASURE AUCTIONS”
I moved closer and hid behind a stack of plastic crates. Surrounding the stand was a group of roughly 30 individuals, but as I looked closer I noticed that not all of them appeared to be fully human. There were some with talons, wings, horns, and scales. I saw a couple of cyclopses, some nymphs, I think I saw some satyrs as well.
As I was crossing off monster’s off my mental mythology bingo card, a man in a black suit, crimson red shirt, black tie and black shoes, walked up to the front of the stall. He had short black hair, a clean shaved beard, a round face, and wore a pair of sunglasses which seemed to have a orange tint within the lenses. He cleared his throat and lifted a microphone to his mouth.
“Ladies, Monsters, and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Hidden Treasure Auction!”, the man announced. He sounded like an ITV game show host. A very entertaining one too, as the crowd cheered, roared, and howled. Literally because there were a few lycanthrops amongst them.
“I’m your host Blaze Burnfield, and we have so much in store for you today. Literally! This auction has sold many infamous items, we’ve sold the Eye of Balor of the Formorians, we’ve sold lock’s of hair from the Aesir goddess of love, beauty, and war, Freya. We’ve sold a lightning bolt which was “generously”, donated by Zeus - whilst he was distracted by mortal women.”
The crowd laughed, even I snickerd. But I quickly regained my focus.
“But today we have two special items, “gifted” by Hephaestus. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you..... The Mask of Mercury, and The Phaser Sword!”
Burnside pulled a red cloth off a display case showing what looked like the mask of comedy with wings attached to the side. Next to it was a Gladius sword which had a faint aura around it.
“OOOOOOOOO”
“Wow!”
“Take my money! Shut up and take my money!”
“Pipe down, pipe down!”, yelled Burnfield. “Let’s keep this auction professional. So let us start the bidding shall we? Starting at £200...”
£200?!, why is there never an atm when you need one?
“£300!” Yelled an auctioneer.
“£450!”
“£600!”
“£600 going once...” called Burnside.
As the bidding continued, I noticed the mask and sword twitching, as if they were trying to get up from the display pedistool. It looked like the items were shifting towards my direction. However it didn’t look as if Blaze Burnside or the crowd had noticed.
“£1,000!”
The crowd gasped and looked towards a tall individual wearing a dark green hooded-cloak near the back. Crap! What do I do now?
“£1,000! We have £1,000! Going once, going twice, going three times -
Before Burnside could finish his sentence, the mask and sword levitated from their pedistool, both shining in a bright aura similar to that of a setting sun. Everyone took a step back, Burnside looked shocked, it appeared he didn’t read the instructions before he stole these items. All of a sudden, the treasures flew towards me as if I summoned them, as if they had noticed my presence. I grabbed hold of the sword in my right hand and the mask in my left. The crowd and Burnside all looked towards me.
“Uhhh.... Sold?” I said nervously.
I bolted.
I usually don’t run from fights, but I was outnumbered. I had two tasks, get to the train station and deliver these items to Dad.
“Somebody stop that boy!”, one of the bidders screamed.
I blitzed down the alley ways and into the center of the shops and food stalls. The bid callers hot on my tail. My eyes kept darting around for an exit, for anyway out. For some reason, my right hand which was holding the Phaser Sword, began to glow, and made a downward slash in the air, as if it had been possessed by the sword. The slash however looked like a tear within space, and on the other side I saw a bridge that was just outside Camden Market.
“How...?”
I didn’t have time to question it as I could hear the cries of the angry mob. I hopped through the space, as I came out the other side I instinctively slash across the tear, and it disappeared. I made for the bridge, however as I got closer, Burnside was standing there. How did he know I’d be here?
“Greetings young man, I would appreciate it if you return my weapons before things get a little... Heated.” said Burnside.
He thrusted his right hand and a beam of fire shot towards me. I rolled to side and charged towards him with the sword, but as soon as I swung down Burnside had vanished and reappeared a few feet behind me.
“Do you know what I had to go through to get those items? Return them now!”, Demanded Burnside. He raised both hands and sent a wall of fire towards me. I’m not sure why, but I instinctively put on the Mask of Mercury. At that moment, time began to slow down.
“What the?”
I steadily walked around the firewall. Burnside stood in position like he had seen the face of Medusa.
It seemed as though Burnside could tell what was happening, as whilst his body remained in place, his eyes moved towards me. In a panic, I kicked him towards the side of the bridge. However, the kick had more power in it than I intended as he went flying over the edge.
I took off the mask and everything began to fast forward. There was a loud splash, like someone had dropped a boulder into the water, I ran over to look for Burnside. But his body wasn’t there, all I could see was a cloud of steam rising from the river.
I reunited with my Dad at Piccadilly Circus, inside the Waterstones Cafe.
“Blaze Burnside, the son of the Titan Perses. He works as a dealer in the black market,” Dad Explained. “How he managed to steal these treasures from Hephaestus’s workshop, I have no idea. Perses and his children aren’t really known for being stealthy. Unless your Hecate.”
I knew that name, Perses was the Titan of Destruction. If he was anything like Burnside, I was very lucky not to be burned to a crisp. I then pulled out the sword and mask, and placed them on the table, luckily the mist obscured the true identity of the items from mortals otherwise I would have a lot of explaining to do.
“Here are the items you requested. Quest completed”, I said to my Dad. But as I was saying this, his facial expressions change from agreement, surprise, curiosity, shock, and then understanding in that exact order.
“Dad, what’s wrong?”, I asked.
The god looked up from the table. “I can’t take them anymore”.
My eye began to twitch.
“Excuse me?”
“I said -
“I heard what you-” I had to stop myself from yelling in order to not draw attention to us. “I heard what you said! Are you having a laugh?! I almost got myself killed trying to retrieve these things, I nearly died escaping that mob of monsters and fighting Burnside. If you think-
“Son!” My Dad said sternly, it was quite rare for him to be this strict with me given his laid back personality. “I can’t take back the Mask of Mercury and the Phaser Sword, because they already claimed you.”
I stared at him dumbfoded. “What?”
“The sword, and mask have chosen you,” he continued. “I couldn’t take them back even if wanted to. Surely you felt as though the items were drawn to you in some way, correct?”
I remembered back at the auction stall, the items seem to have noticed my presence, like they had picked me.
“You may not know this, but sometimes magical items can eventually develop a mind of their own depending on how they are crafted, or what they have been through,” My dad said as he was getting up out of his seat. “Consider these items as a reward for completing this quest.
See you soon son”. He then teleported away.
I sat there in the cafe looking at my rewards whilst enjoying my food. I looked at my watch. This task had taken me around 4 hours to complete. So much for 5 minutes.
