Parenting Rules when it comes to VideoGames

Makster · 2024-03-29T07:52:27.681Z

Growing up in the 90's seems wildly different from now - back then you had to share you screen with the family or the PC was mainly used for work applications like word or excel and rarely ever games. For me my parents were strict on no videogames on weekdays (apart from Friday evening), but this rule was could be superseded if my parents bought me a new game so I can test it out. Oddly I think this rule was very good for me in maintaining discipline and I actually kept this rule up until I was 18 and I left the house for college. However, on reflection, it's a bit odd that I was not allowed any videogames on the weekdays but infinite time on the computer/ internet or TV watching time which leads me onto whether kids today should have a different rule when it comes to screentime. What was the rule in your household growing up and if you do have kids, what is the rule now? Would this extend to screentime on the tablet or phone?...

Lanah Tyra 3/29/2024, 10:46:27 AM

I didn't have a mobile phone for a very long time, as when they were available finally, we only had one family mobile which was the size of a brick.

I could play some games on my console, but only once I've done my homework (yes, we got an awful lot of homework every day in school, and even more for the weekends). And even that time was limited because we only had one TV so I could only play when it was not in use (very rarely.) I had some ancient MSDOS games on my mother's work computer so that's what I was mostly playing.

It's interesting thing with the TV because once I finally had my own computer and wanted to spend a couple of hours playing games I got yelled at but to sit in front of the TV and watch whatever my parents were watching that was ok. And you can't even justify it by saying oh but I'm spending time with them, because I wouldn't call it spending time together if people just stare at a screen, don't talk to each other and one of them is not even enjoying what's on the screen.

Makster 3/29/2024, 11:16:29 AM

Lanah Tyra

Thank you for the reply and interesting insight. Reflecting on my childhood it is the same - I finished my homework but wasn't allowed videogames but I was allowed to watch unlimited TV (and later on YouTube). But I think it was a good deterrant as I also had taken up piano and guitar so really after homework I should be practicing instruments rather than playing games.

And thank you for bringing up the point about the shared TV screen. Interestingly I think my opininon has changed on this. Like how going to the pictures can be classed as 'not a social event' since you're also watching a giant screen with little interaction - you're still experiencing a shared event or programme. I'm even more cautious now about separate screens due to lack of monitoring on social media. At least with TV things are screened multiple times before broadcast and even if something happens you have OFCOM (in the UK) to complain to. It seems that there is a discussion on whether social media companies or parents are responsible for what is consumed by their children

Lanah Tyra 3/29/2024, 11:25:34 AM

Makster

I totally agree on the shared screentime being a social event, going to the cinema or watching something at home with your friends or family which you chose to watch together is totally social time.

But making your kid watch the same thing you are watching even if that's not any of interest to them, not a documentary or something they would actually learn from, or often not even necessarily something they should watch (like rated movies or all the crap advertisements) that's something I'll never understand. My friend is often watching TV with her sons, but programs which they choose from the categories available for them, and they discuss the program together either on the go or after. That's quality screentime spend together.

And I agree on the dangers of letting kids watch whatever they want, unsupervised. I think we had a good discussion about this a while ago, where we pretty much agreed that companies are easy to blame, but also so many parents have zero interest in using the parental controls or not having any idea how to use them properly. People need to be more responsible in general.

FirestormGamingTeam 3/29/2024, 10:49:43 AM

So here are my rules for my children.

We don't have screentime rules

Why?

It's simple, as long as you understand technology, parental controls are super easy. This being said whilst I allow my children unlimited screen time, if I tell them we are "going out" I do not Brooke any arguments. I expect my children to be willing to go on fun days, shop runs, out for a walk.

Our rule is, if you refuse to go out as a family, you lose all screentime for that day. So far this has worked perfectly for us, whilst they do play consoles/switches/phones, they are always happy to go out at a moment's notice.

As long as you instil in children that going out is not optional, you really have no issues.

Makster 3/29/2024, 11:10:06 AM

FirestormGamingTeam

Thank you for the insightful reply and it sounds like both you and your kids have great respect for screen time and technology.

I don't have any children but I've been around nieces and nephews and whilst I'm not one for criticising or feeding back on parenting - I am concerned that whenever they are without the internet it becomes a problem. I am in agreement that all screen time cannot be considered equal i.e. playing games like temple run isn't the same as playing a maths game.

FirestormGamingTeam 3/29/2024, 11:13:34 AM

Makster

Yeah you have to make sure you have a balance, family time is important and as long as you instil that in children, you won't have an issue.

Lanah Tyra 3/29/2024, 11:16:24 AM

FirestormGamingTeam

I think this is a really great way of doing it, because it doesn't sanction children but actually teaches them a healthy social life.

I was over 18 and still living at home so it was that weird situation where I could do what I wanted but on the other hand couldn't. And I was constantly moaned at for being too much on the computer and just playing stupid games (for them it was also gaming when I was editing videos for my uni class...) But they never acknowledged when my friends called me to go somewhere, I dropped everything and went outside to spend time with them.

But again, most of my friends were online friends, so spending time ingame was also spending time with my friends. Which was partly my parent's fault as they didn't let me go and meet friends that much so I had to resort to finding friends online...

Makster 3/29/2024, 11:19:48 AM

Lanah Tyra

It is definitely a generational gap/ understanding when it comes to socialising. I can't blame the zoomer generation preferring to go onto VR or discord to hang out with their friends now that infrastructure has a much higher financial wall behind it such as movie tickets, or taking public transport, food costs etc.

RupertStaff3/29/2024, 10:53:57 AM

We had PCs (and Amigas) in the house for as long as I can remember, but amazingly I wasn't allowed a games console as a kid. In fact, we didn't have one in the family house until I won a Dreamcast at a Quake3 launch event in London, aged 16 (late 1999)!

So I spent quite a lot of time at a friends house in order to play on their SNES and OG PlayStation :-)

Makster 3/29/2024, 11:10:30 AM

Rupert

Did your parents ever tell you why you weren't allowed a console in your house?

RupertStaff3/29/2024, 11:22:12 AM

Makster

I’m going to ask them now!

G

Groblin 3/30/2024, 4:41:17 PM

We don't have too many rules for our son who is 10. My wife made me let him have Fortnite and that had the most restrictions. Thankfully it is on the switch so parental controls are quite strict and he has to ask to get the switch unlocked. He is only allowed about 30 mins weekdays but non school nights he can play more. He has to be off 30 mins before bedtime though.

Makster 3/31/2024, 11:22:04 AM

Groblin

oh man 30 minutes isn't enough! But in the evenings 30 minutes is such a large percentage of what free time you actually have (especially as an adult). I know as a kid I would be begging my parents for more time lol. But thanks for sharing

G

Groblin 3/31/2024, 4:17:30 PM

Makster

It never used to be but my wife was worried how much time he was spending on fortnite. He is allowed to play other games more during the week it's just Fortnite that is restricted.

Sturmer 3/30/2024, 9:36:08 PM

It's a great topic! I have a 5-year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter. Working in the gaming industry all their lives, it's somewhat ironic to impose video game limitations at home.

Rather than setting strict rules, I've integrated video games into educational sessions. We play together, exploring game mechanics or learning soft skills. My role as a parent is to replace restrictive rules with shared activities and engagement.

Consequently, video games have become more of a filler activity for my kids when me or wife occupied. They're always eager to stop playing and join us for outdoor activities or other engagements as soon as we’re available.

It's not easy I won't lie, but helps to stay creative, invent new (offline) games or fantasy worlds and stories.

Makster 3/31/2024, 11:26:50 AM

Sturmer

I've been reading Penny Arcade (webcomic) for a long time and the authors sometimes blog about raising their children around video games. https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2019/06/03/dd-as-a-tool

In this blog post the author Gabe uses D&D as a tool to help is youngest (Noah) understand numbers and focus whilst basing it off Noah's favourite game Sea of Thieves. It is absolutely incredible with the results of engaging his child in his interests so hone those educational skills.

I'd give it a read as it relates so closely to bridging a child's interest with their learning.

Horror and Cats 3/31/2024, 8:00:52 PM

I had kinda a Wild West childhood as a country boy throwing dirt clods and having stick fights, putting playing cards in my bike spokes, etc. I didn’t get into gaming till I was a teen and basically was buying my own gear/games.

My friend has two kids (9 and 11) and they have a screen time cutoff of 6pm, but it’s because they have ADHD and are VERY prone to being overstimulated. They need some screen off time as a buffer or bedtime will be a nightmare.

I play Minecraft with them online and the creativity stimulation of that game is powerful.