Whether you've overloaded a wormhole with your fleet inside or accidentally Doomsday'd your FC, we want to hear your most hilarious true EVE Online stories. Our thanks go to Luka Zaharin for suggesting this reward idea! Here's how they describe it:
"We've shared stories about painful ship losses, what about balancing it with funniest moments? Socially active pilots have lots of these anecdotes, but solo pilots also encounter crazy things on their New Eden travels. It could be a good read for when you're down having just lost your favourite ship!"
You can enter with text for $2 or you can tell your story via video for $15. If you enter with video, we expect at least a few minutes and some cool visuals.
I can confirm the story, well most of it. I think it was maybe around 20 peeps we had out? Don't think it was quite as many as 60. I could be wrong, It was a while ago though. Of course myself and the other more experienced players just sat there bemused, but also laughing our butts off as we tried to tell people not to shoot at the broadcasted target and watched the fleet get decimated. We remind him of this ill-fated fleet every opportunity we get.
Way back in 2012, I was part of a corporation in Danera, east Khanid space. I was dating someone at the time, and one way or another, she took an interest in EVE Online, and got to talking to my CEO at the time. Somehow, an arrangement was made that she-through-me would give the CEO a gift.
For an entire year, my CEO utterly nagged me about this gift, whatever it was going to be, every chance he got. Finally, I ended up delivering him this ‘gift’ that he had hyped himself up to receive for the entire time.
The gift ended up being a 150mm Gatling Gun, 2 male Exotic Dancers, and a literal “Shiny Things” item.
Obviously, the CEO was disgusted, but what I didn’t expect was for him to change my corporate title to “He promised me a gift and he gave me THIS!?”
That was back in 2011. Back then I was in the Gypsy Band Alliance, and we lived in the Curse. We often had fun dropping Red Alliance capitals through Titan. One evening we were grouped up as usual and waiting for the jump command. As our cyno lit up, our FC yelled ‘Amen! Portal!’, but there was no portal. Then he yelled even louder AMENNNNN PORTAAAAL!!! and again nothing happened. There was a total silence in TeamSpeak, and FC just kept screaming and screaming. In the end nothing we could catch the caps, and titan pilot spoke after half an hour and said he fell asleep while we waited.
Almost ten years ago, back in the Summer of 2015, one of our pilots was flying around in Cache and noticed that several star systems were vulnerable. Curious he decided to fit his trusty interceptor with an Entosis and see what would happen. What happened was that suddenly our low-sec based Pirate Alliance found itself the owner of three star-systems way down in Cache.
We decided amongst ourselves to just go with it. And over the course of a few days we moved a lot of assets down to the station there. We managed to get a nice Jump Freighter chain up and running and generally moved some ships and supplies down to ensure we had enough on hand to have some fun. We had no idea what we were doing and that would become extremely obvious pretty quickly.
While we owned the station in our new system, no one could dock in it! The alt I was using to move assets and set-up the station was the Alliance Executor - but we couldn't find the management window anywhere. We spent a hilarious amount of time using Google to try and figure out how that worked. One of our guys even went onto the Singularity test server to try and help. Thing was - the expected station management system just wasn't there.
Someone suggested I try and re-start the station. That did give me an idea, so I undocked and docked back up - and sure enough the window finally appeared.
So I decided to immediately transfer the station to Stay Frosty - which seemed to make sense. But no, that didn't make any sense and only made things much, much worse. I no longer had access to the window. Which meant that I had to log into Rixx and get him the 40+ jumps down to Cache safely. Because you can't manage the station remotely 25,000 years from now.
I will never forget arriving in local and seeing all of our pilots sitting outside the station waiting to dock. Which is why someone renamed the station, "Dad Lost The Keys".
